Helping Your Teens Build Relationships In Your Church 

As a parent, one of the things that I want for my kids is for them to be healthy, in lots of ways. I want them to be healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. As I have thought through this idea for the last several years, there is one area of health that I have come to believe might be the foundation to it all. I want, no, I need for my kids to be healthy relationally.


In the world we live in, relationships matter, a lot. Almost everything in our kids’ lives revolve around their relationship, and the health of their relationships often drives their thoughts, emotions, and activities. I’m a strong believer in the idea that healthy relationships don’t make life perfect, but they do make it better. If, as a parent, I have the opportunity to help my kids develop stronger relationships, I want to lean into that.


One of the places where healthy relationships can have a tremendous impact on our kids is at church. In the faith community, we can connect our teens to both significant adults who can lead and encourage them as well as peers who will hopefully be going in the same direction. These potential relationships can last for a lifetime and help our kids build the faith we hope will last. As parents, we play a role in helping our kids connect to both the church at large and to individuals in their community. As you evaluate how you can help your teens build some of the healthy relationships they need to thrive, consider the following ideas:


  1. Encourage your teens to commit to the youth ministry at your church (at least for a season) and help them connect to the leaders of the ministry or their group.
  2. Get to know the leaders of the ministry your teens are a part of and invest in them as they invest in your teens.
  3. Actively pray for your teens and their involvement and connection to your church.
  4. Facilitate gatherings (maybe at your home) with teens from your church and help to foster the community you want your kids to have.


You might not be able to do all these things, but you can certainly do some of them. Download the Prayer Calendar we’ve created and use it to pray specifically for different aspects of your teen’s life and relationships at church. As I’ve already said, relationships matter and as parents we should be working as hard as we can to help our kids build the healthy relationships they need to grow into the people we hope they will become.